July 31, 2012

The Little Red Hen

This is a great parable:
Once upon a time there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She called her neighbors and said 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'
"Not I, " said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen. And she did.

The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.

At last the time came to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake bread?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for the neighbors to see.
They all wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves myself."
"Excess profits," cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech," screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights," yelled the goose.
And the pig just grunted.
And they painted "unfair" picket signs and marched round and around the little red hen shouting obscenities.

When the government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the agent. "That's the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations productive workers must divide their products with the idle."

They all lived happily ever after. But the little red hen's neighbors wondered why she never again baked bread.

-a classic parable, adapted by Ronald Reagan

Note: For the very last paragraph I used a version I had read that was slightly abridged from Reagan's version, but in my opinion ends with more emphasis.

July 21, 2012

Finishing Monopoly Faster

My oldest son knows how to play Monopoly now and wants us to play it all the time. Monopoly is a classic but we all dread playing it because it can drag out to four or five hours.

So, when we play, I set the alarm on my iphone to go off in one hour. After the alarm sounds, all payments to other players are doubled. (Payments to and from the bank stay the same.) This allows us to bankrupt each other more quickly. Then we set the alarm again to give us another hour (or so) of play. When it sounds, whoever has the most cash is the winner.

There you have it. No deep message; just a tip on playing monopoly.

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